Sorry it's been so long and this is going to be short.
The past few weeks have been so damn stressful, emotional etc. that my body said enough. I got out of the hospital yesterday after being in for a couple days after a mild heart attack. I have some stories to tell, but for now just wanted to let you all know why I've been absent. Doctor wants me to rest and take it easy for a few days. But I'll write a full update in a couple of days. Just wanted to let you all know I'm okay and boy did nearly dying change my whole perspective about life. It had to be one of the scariest things I've ever been through. I'm a little loopy right now, but to you dad's happy fahrer's day and to everyone else, happy life.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Where Do I Start? So Much in One Day!
Wow, what a crazy ass day! Okay, first I call the guy at the juvenile detention center to set up a time to come meet the staff, tour the facility (which happens to be a maximum security prison for the whole state for male offenders,(we are talking rapist, murderers, the whole shabang)and have my interview. So we set that up for Friday. He actually invited me to come for lunch so I could meet the whole staff at the same time in a relaxed atmosphere (score bonus points for being so nice).
I finally hear from my union rep. It's only been 4 weeks, but who's counting? Anyway, she says she has been working really hard on writing my report for my rebuttal and has been going over all my notes, my documentation and emails from satisfied parents, students, teachers, colleges etc. Then she asked me to scan and email all the letters of recommendation to her so she can see if they'd be of any use. She emailed back a while later and said she was amazed at how good they are. She said she's never seen such good letters of recommendation before. She thinks that they will go a long way to prove our case. She is going to send her report to me in the next couple of days to read over and check for errors, maybe add or change things before we sit down with human resources.
Now the best part...this morning the office manager comes back to ask "the evil one" how scheduling is doing. And she replies "Oh, it's going great! It's like a puzzle. I'm actually having fun". Now mind you this is exactly what I always say about scheduling...then she says loud enough for me to hear "I don't know why (insert my name here) always complains and says she hates it! Ummm no, what I hate is after working on it for the last 2 months of the school year, then part of my summer break, coming back, the principal deciding to have change arena and having to change almost every single one. That's what I hate. Then she says she's going out to the DO to discuss becoming a Dean of Students ( which pays less then her current position of assistant principal) and then do my job as registrar so that they can afford to hire another counselor. As part of budget cuts last year, we let one of the counselors go. She loves this guy and feels bad that he is having to work so hard...the dude make 50k a year...has summers off...oh boo be fucking boo hoo. She thinks he walks on water and has had a really hard time being the only one on campus. So she actually thinks she will be able to do her job (a full time position), my job (a full time position), plus we are getting 2 new administrators this coming fall, so she will have to be helping them and she also is the part time administrator for our off campus alternative school. Yeah, she can do all of it...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I started laughing and had to walk out of the offices I was laughing so hard.
So, I just have to contact my union rep tomorrow and tell her that I have proof that this 70 year old woman has lost her fucking mind and needs to retire before someone gets hurt! I cannot believe that she thinks my job is so easy (which almost is all exclusively done on the computer which she knows shit about) that she will be able to do on top of everything else. Unbelievable. Sort of makes me want to leave just so she will crash and burn, but unfortunately I care too much about the school to let the disaster that would occur take place. Students and teachers would suffer because of her incompetence.
So what would you do? Fight for your job or walk away and let the chips fall where they may?
I finally hear from my union rep. It's only been 4 weeks, but who's counting? Anyway, she says she has been working really hard on writing my report for my rebuttal and has been going over all my notes, my documentation and emails from satisfied parents, students, teachers, colleges etc. Then she asked me to scan and email all the letters of recommendation to her so she can see if they'd be of any use. She emailed back a while later and said she was amazed at how good they are. She said she's never seen such good letters of recommendation before. She thinks that they will go a long way to prove our case. She is going to send her report to me in the next couple of days to read over and check for errors, maybe add or change things before we sit down with human resources.
Now the best part...this morning the office manager comes back to ask "the evil one" how scheduling is doing. And she replies "Oh, it's going great! It's like a puzzle. I'm actually having fun". Now mind you this is exactly what I always say about scheduling...then she says loud enough for me to hear "I don't know why (insert my name here) always complains and says she hates it! Ummm no, what I hate is after working on it for the last 2 months of the school year, then part of my summer break, coming back, the principal deciding to have change arena and having to change almost every single one. That's what I hate. Then she says she's going out to the DO to discuss becoming a Dean of Students ( which pays less then her current position of assistant principal) and then do my job as registrar so that they can afford to hire another counselor. As part of budget cuts last year, we let one of the counselors go. She loves this guy and feels bad that he is having to work so hard...the dude make 50k a year...has summers off...oh boo be fucking boo hoo. She thinks he walks on water and has had a really hard time being the only one on campus. So she actually thinks she will be able to do her job (a full time position), my job (a full time position), plus we are getting 2 new administrators this coming fall, so she will have to be helping them and she also is the part time administrator for our off campus alternative school. Yeah, she can do all of it...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I started laughing and had to walk out of the offices I was laughing so hard.
So, I just have to contact my union rep tomorrow and tell her that I have proof that this 70 year old woman has lost her fucking mind and needs to retire before someone gets hurt! I cannot believe that she thinks my job is so easy (which almost is all exclusively done on the computer which she knows shit about) that she will be able to do on top of everything else. Unbelievable. Sort of makes me want to leave just so she will crash and burn, but unfortunately I care too much about the school to let the disaster that would occur take place. Students and teachers would suffer because of her incompetence.
So what would you do? Fight for your job or walk away and let the chips fall where they may?
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Pish Posh Challenge
I have just been off my game lately. This job mess has me all twisted up. I can't sleep, can't focus, I had a world class panic attack today even though the doc has me on Xanex all day. So I decided to do something proactive. I started asking other people I work with to write me a letter of recommendation. That way when the other shoe drops, I'll be ready to go looking. I've also decided that if "she" stays, I'm not going back. There is no way I will get a fair shake from here out anyway.
So I guess my biggest challenge for the next couple of weeks is to be able to hang in there without having a full blown melt down. I need to get back to working out when I get home from work. I did it over the weekend along with the hours of yardwork. But with all that's going on, by the time I get home I am toast. The good news is, I'm hardly eating and when I do it's usually something healthy and light. My stomach has had issues lately. It's what happens when I get stressed. I have the opposite problem Pish has.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Give me courage
Well, I went to the doctor yesterday to bring her up to speed on how The Evil Witch has made my life a living hell ever since the mock firing (that's what I'm calling it until it's sorted out) and after listening to everything she asked "You do know that she is mind fucking you right?" Gotta love this doctor, she calls them as she sees them. So she told me on top of documenting everything that she does and says, she also wants me to document the good things I do. To not only show if and when there is ever a hearing, but also to remind myself that I am a good person and worthy of praise. So today, the student that I helped last week suddenly appears in my office and gives me a big hug and says Thank you so much Mrs.__________. My dad and I got the parts installed on my truck and I'm caught up in my classes, now all I have to do is stay on track and I'll be able to graduate. And he left with the biggest smile on his face. I wrote that down. It felt so good that I made a difference.
Friday, May 4, 2012
No longer circling the drain...
I've been pretty down in the dumps of late, but the drugs finally kicked in and I'm feeling a lot better. I did something a couple of days ago, that made me feel fabulous and wish I could do it as a job. Anyway, I over hear this teenage boy talking about how his life is just out of control. There is just too much to do and not enough time to do it. I could hear the pain in his voice, he was crying and I knew he was at that point...you know the point where you feel like there is no way out? That life is just going to keep screwing with you and you'll never feel on top of it again? I know that feeling and I knew I had to help.
So I took him into my office and I said, "How do you eat an elephant"? And he just looked at me. I said "One bite at a time". So I got out a piece of paper and said tell me what's going on. He said he just found out he's failing 2 of his core classes that he needs to graduate. The prom is coming and he's broke. His car is broke down. There is some drama with the sport he plays between him and his coach. His parents are on his back. Graduation is in 4 weeks. etc.
So I said okay, let's take these one at a time. The most important is your grades. Because if you don't pass those classes you won't graduate and that will set a whole bunch more stuff in motion. I told him there isn't school on Thursday (conferences) but we will all be here. Come to school and work all day long on catching up. Ask the teachers if there is some stuff you can do for extra credit. Teachers love it when a student shows ambition and is really trying. Then I asked about his vehicle. He said it was a Ford and tada, guess what? My husband works at a Ford dealership. I called him, explained what was going on and put the student on the phone. Long story short, my husband is getting his parts at cost and will help him fix the vehicle if his dad doesn't know how. At this point the student actually started to look happy. I said "See you need to break each thing down, it's more doable in little bites, get it"? And he laughed. So then we continued with the list. I told him the drama will blow over with the coach. It always does. As for the prom, talk to his date and see if she wouldn't mind doing it a little less expensive. Like go to Applebee's, they have that special where you can get an appetizer, dinner and dessert for 2 for $20. He doesn't have to have a tux, just wear some nice slacks, a shirt and tie. I told him that she said yes because she wants to be with him that night, not so you have to spend your college fund. Next try to explain to your parents that you are totally stressed and just need them to go easy. You understand that they are stressed out too, but you can't handle it all right now, it's just too much. And as for graduation...well that's coming for sure, there is no stopping that, so all you can do is work as hard as you can for 4 weeks...that's it 4 weeks. Not 4 months, not 4 years, 4 weeks and then you are done.
He left my office with his list and a smile. That night my husband said he came and got the parts and seemed like a good kid and was smiling. The next day he was at school bright and early working with teachers on catching up. When I saw him, he just smiled and nodded. At that moment I got this warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart and it felt fantastic.
It showed me that I was supposed to be there right then. Too many things lined up for it to be just a coincidence. I helped someone through the darkness and by doing that I helped myself.
What can you do to help someone?
So I took him into my office and I said, "How do you eat an elephant"? And he just looked at me. I said "One bite at a time". So I got out a piece of paper and said tell me what's going on. He said he just found out he's failing 2 of his core classes that he needs to graduate. The prom is coming and he's broke. His car is broke down. There is some drama with the sport he plays between him and his coach. His parents are on his back. Graduation is in 4 weeks. etc.
So I said okay, let's take these one at a time. The most important is your grades. Because if you don't pass those classes you won't graduate and that will set a whole bunch more stuff in motion. I told him there isn't school on Thursday (conferences) but we will all be here. Come to school and work all day long on catching up. Ask the teachers if there is some stuff you can do for extra credit. Teachers love it when a student shows ambition and is really trying. Then I asked about his vehicle. He said it was a Ford and tada, guess what? My husband works at a Ford dealership. I called him, explained what was going on and put the student on the phone. Long story short, my husband is getting his parts at cost and will help him fix the vehicle if his dad doesn't know how. At this point the student actually started to look happy. I said "See you need to break each thing down, it's more doable in little bites, get it"? And he laughed. So then we continued with the list. I told him the drama will blow over with the coach. It always does. As for the prom, talk to his date and see if she wouldn't mind doing it a little less expensive. Like go to Applebee's, they have that special where you can get an appetizer, dinner and dessert for 2 for $20. He doesn't have to have a tux, just wear some nice slacks, a shirt and tie. I told him that she said yes because she wants to be with him that night, not so you have to spend your college fund. Next try to explain to your parents that you are totally stressed and just need them to go easy. You understand that they are stressed out too, but you can't handle it all right now, it's just too much. And as for graduation...well that's coming for sure, there is no stopping that, so all you can do is work as hard as you can for 4 weeks...that's it 4 weeks. Not 4 months, not 4 years, 4 weeks and then you are done.
He left my office with his list and a smile. That night my husband said he came and got the parts and seemed like a good kid and was smiling. The next day he was at school bright and early working with teachers on catching up. When I saw him, he just smiled and nodded. At that moment I got this warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart and it felt fantastic.
It showed me that I was supposed to be there right then. Too many things lined up for it to be just a coincidence. I helped someone through the darkness and by doing that I helped myself.
What can you do to help someone?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)