Yep...I'm going to prison folks!

Yep, like everyday. 7am-4:30pm, 5 x a week.






I started the new job the middle of August and it's fantastic. No more dragon lady. No more BS. Where my previous job had 4 pages of duties, this job has one page of duties. My commute is twice as far. I make less money, but by golly folks I don't care because I love this job. Yes I'm working in a maximum security prison with youths that have committed some pretty awful crimes (more on that later), but I love it.

When I first got into education 23 years ago, I did it because I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to help kids. And I was doing that until about 7 years ago when I "moved up" and became an executive assistant to the athletic director and then moved to the registrar's position. I no longer was having contact with students. The first couple of years were okay. Frankly I was getting a little burned out working with troubled youth, but then I started to miss it. Then this last year, the universe forced my hand via some very mean people and I made the change.

So here I am. Everyday, I have to check in, stow all personal gear in our locker, no cell phones, money, keys anything can be brought in from the "outs". Then you go through to locked doors, via camera security to get to the inside. You go to "control" which is the guards central location. They view all the cameras, they control all the locks, they can see all over the facility. You check in with them, get your keys, ID badge and you are on your way. My office is above the gym. One of the only places there isn't cameras and the bathrooms. You are on camera everywhere you go. It only took a day for me to get used to that. I don't even think about it anymore.

There are 4 units. Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta. Alpha houses youth that have done violent person on person crimes. Bravo are all the sex offenders. Charlie is all the non violent offenders and Delta is where the older offenders are. We have 128 youths ranging in age from 13-24. I am working in the "school" within the prison. I was hired to be a sort of girl Friday. Our state is now mandating that all graduates show proficiency in reading, writing and math. There are 2 different tests that need to be given to every youth working towards their diploma twice in the fall and then again in the spring. So I am in charge of all the testing, record keeping and state reporting. I also am the librarian and assist in classrooms. There are other things I do, but those are the main ones.

Two weeks ago, one of our teacher's husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. So I have been subbing for her government class. I have 2 classes a day. Each unit has a contained classroom. And has 2 guards. One sits in the room and one sits outside in the day room. There are also cameras everywhere and a huge red panic button right behind my desk "just in case". It has been great. I have been talking to these kids about the importance of respect and responsibility and how they need to get their diploma to have any chance at all of a decent future on the outs. All of the boys have been great. I mean of course you have your ones that want to talk and there is the class clown, just like on the outs. But I grew up with 3 brothers, I have 2 sons, so I know boy behavior. They are all polite and I actually feel safer then in the public school system. And these boys are very well behaved. They have to be or there will be consequences.

Last week I connected with a couple of them. They treat me with respect. They ask how I'm doing. There was one day when one of the other aides came in and she was making a big fuss over how I wasn't paying close enough attention to what they were doing one their computers (we have visionware, so I can see what each of them is doing on their computers from my computer at my desk). Anyway, the next day, one of the boys ask if I got in any trouble over it. He wanted to know if she told my boss. He said that he liked the way I treated them like human beings and not animals. He said that what the others don't understand is, when they yell at them and treat them badly it just makes them more angry and less motivated to do what is being ask. He said he likes the way I treat them like they matter and that I really care. I thanked him for saying that and he told me to have a nice weekend. I later found out that he is one of the 2 kids in for murder. He was 14 (now 18) when he got tangled up in a gang fight with his brothers and uncle and he stabbed a guy and later the guy died.

The other boy that I have made a connection with is very quiet and just works away. The day when I was talking about respect and how they demand it from others, but first they need to respect themselves by doing what is right and working hard on their education while they are in here, so that when they get out they have a chance at a different life. I got his attention, he turned around and was listening and made a few comments. After class he came up to me and we talked about what that all means etc. I later found out he is one of the major gang leaders in this state and he has also killed someone.



I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though these boys are criminals, they are just boys deep down. And I am finding it's like I thought all along. Kids are a product of their environment. Almost every one of these kids has had the shittiest home life possible. Or they connected with a male figure (because their father wasn't in the picture) and that person was in a gang, so the kid joins so that he feels he belongs somewhere and has a group of people that care about him.

I am going to write more stories about these boys and what my new life is like as time goes on, but for now I will leave you with this one...

Last week when I was covering the class, they ask if I could play music. So I put Pandora on my computer. Some different hip hop and rap songs played and then Adele's song "Rolling in the Deep" comes on. I was just waiting to hear them start talking smack, but a funny thing happened. A couple of them started quietly started singing along. Then I noticed some were tapping their foot or fingers. Then I heard one ask "Who is this?" and another says "She's that one that won all the awards on the Grammy's" then a couple of others said "Her name is Adele". Then another asks me "I heard she's pregnant, is that true?" So here are all these "tough" guys and they know Adele...I had to smile. They are just boys.



Oh by the way, what pushed me to start writing again is that Pish is starting a new challenge, YAY Pish! So even though it's too late for me to paste my squirrel on her page, I'm in! And I promise I'll write every couple of days about my job, life and her challenge. My summer was crazy busy with my recovering from the heart attack, my son getting married, me making the wedding gown, my garden, oh and then there is the story of me being attacked by a nest of bald faced hornets, and my beagle diagnosed with cancer, but she's hanging in there...these are things I'll write about in the future. But for now I'll just say I'm sorry I've been out of touch for so long. Take care and we'll talk soon.

Squirrel

Where Do I Start? So Much in One Day!

Wow, what a crazy ass day! Okay, first I call the guy at the juvenile detention center to set up a time to come meet the staff, tour the facility (which happens to be a maximum security prison for the whole state for male offenders,(we are talking rapist, murderers, the whole shabang)and have my interview. So we set that up for Friday. He actually invited me to come for lunch so I could meet the whole staff at the same time in a relaxed atmosphere (score bonus points for being so nice).

I finally hear from my union rep. It's only been 4 weeks, but who's counting? Anyway, she says she has been working really hard on writing my report for my rebuttal and has been going over all my notes, my documentation and emails from satisfied parents, students, teachers, colleges etc. Then she asked me to scan and email all the letters of recommendation to her so she can see if they'd be of any use. She emailed back a while later and said she was amazed at how good they are. She said she's never seen such good letters of recommendation before. She thinks that they will go a long way to prove our case. She is going to send her report to me in the next couple of days to read over and check for errors, maybe add or change things before we sit down with human resources.

Now the best part...this morning the office manager comes back to ask "the evil one" how scheduling is doing. And she replies "Oh, it's going great! It's like a puzzle. I'm actually having fun". Now mind you this is exactly what I always say about scheduling...then she says loud enough for me to hear "I don't know why (insert my name here) always complains and says she hates it! Ummm no, what I hate is after working on it for the last 2 months of the school year, then part of my summer break, coming back, the principal deciding to have change arena and having to change almost every single one. That's what I hate. Then she says she's going out to the DO to discuss becoming a Dean of Students ( which pays less then her current position of assistant principal) and then do my job as registrar so that they can afford to hire another counselor. As part of budget cuts last year, we let one of the counselors go. She loves this guy and feels bad that he is having to work so hard...the dude make 50k a year...has summers off...oh boo be fucking boo hoo. She thinks he walks on water and has had a really hard time being the only one on campus. So she actually thinks she will be able to do her job (a full time position), my job (a full time position), plus we are getting 2 new administrators this coming fall, so she will have to be helping them and she also is the part time administrator for our off campus alternative school. Yeah, she can do all of it...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I started laughing and had to walk out of the offices I was laughing so hard.

So, I just have to contact my union rep tomorrow and tell her that I have proof that this 70 year old woman has lost her fucking mind and needs to retire before someone gets hurt! I cannot believe that she thinks my job is so easy (which almost is all exclusively done on the computer which she knows shit about) that she will be able to do on top of everything else. Unbelievable. Sort of makes me want to leave just so she will crash and burn, but unfortunately I care too much about the school to let the disaster that would occur take place. Students and teachers would suffer because of her incompetence.



So what would you do? Fight for your job or walk away and let the chips fall where they may?

The Pish Posh Challenge

I feel like I have made some major improvements in all areas of my life. But I, like others don't view this as a 10-12 week change. I want it to be for the rest of my life. I will continue to eat healthy and exercise 5-6 days a week. I will continue to get stronger not only physically, but emotionally. I will continue to do everything I can to get out of debt. I want to get my life organized and less chaotic. I am currently spending a lot of time outdoors weeding and building planting boxes and getting ready to put in my garden next week. I can't wait. I absolutely love this time of year. From now until the fall. I will be outside everyday working until I can't take the pain anymore. Then I will have fresh produce to eat everyday. My husband helped me expand the garden area last weekend so that I can plant a bunch more. I always have a lot during the season, but not a lot of extra. I want to be able to can, freeze and dehydrate as much as possible. I am still reeling from the job evaluation I got 4 weeks ago, but I am getting over it and trying to move on. During those first few days, i had zero motivation. I didn't give a crap about anything. I just laid around and didn't do a damn thing. I was eating all wrong, I wasn't working out, I just didn't give a shit. But I had to stop feeling sorry for myself before i undid everything I had worked so hard for. Plus I realized I was giving her power and I needed to take it back. I go in for an interview and tour of the facility next week. I found out today that it's a maximum security prison for teens. That gives me pause. I thought it was just a juvenile detention center. They say I shouldn't ever be in any danger, but it still seems scary. I have lost 15 pounds all together and 3 sizes. I know that with me working in the yard more and working out, I will continue to lose and get in even better shape. As the garden produces I will eat fresh organic veggies almost exclusively. My goal is,to continue to grow and change and become the person I was meant to be. I'm going to be 55 this year and I want the rest of my life to be happy, relaxed, sweet, meaningful, productive and worthwhile. I have met some awesome people as a part of this challenge and think of them as friends, very close friends. I am so happy I began this challenge. You are all blessings in my life.

Hump Day

Well, I have made it halfway through the week without having an anxiety attack. I think finding out about the new job possibility gives me hope. I still haven't heard a word from my union rep...it's been over 3 weeks now! And that's why we pay dues, right? Been working on getting a bunch of letters of recommendation from teachers and staff for job hunting this summer in case this other gig doesn't work out. I've got 6 so far and everyone goes on and on about how awesome I am and yet I got the worst evaluation ever and fake fired...me no gettie. The thing that makes this new job the best,is it starts right away. Which means I can leave without giving my 2 weeks notice because it's still in our district. Now the person that "fired" me is in charge of scheduling this year. That is the main thing I do this time of year. I'm the only one left in the building that knows how to schedule with our system...except the office manager who also was partly responsible for the shit that hit the fan a few weeks ago. So if I get the new job, it is going to screw the 2 of them real bad. They may have to work their whole summer on it...oh darn, do I feel bad about that. bwahahaha! I heard karma's a bitch, just have never seen it in action. But will it give me bad juju if I celebrate it?