I've been pretty down in the dumps of late, but the drugs finally kicked in and I'm feeling a lot better. I did something a couple of days ago, that made me feel fabulous and wish I could do it as a job. Anyway, I over hear this teenage boy talking about how his life is just out of control. There is just too much to do and not enough time to do it. I could hear the pain in his voice, he was crying and I knew he was at that point...you know the point where you feel like there is no way out? That life is just going to keep screwing with you and you'll never feel on top of it again? I know that feeling and I knew I had to help.
So I took him into my office and I said, "How do you eat an elephant"? And he just looked at me. I said "One bite at a time". So I got out a piece of paper and said tell me what's going on. He said he just found out he's failing 2 of his core classes that he needs to graduate. The prom is coming and he's broke. His car is broke down. There is some drama with the sport he plays between him and his coach. His parents are on his back. Graduation is in 4 weeks. etc.
So I said okay, let's take these one at a time. The most important is your grades. Because if you don't pass those classes you won't graduate and that will set a whole bunch more stuff in motion. I told him there isn't school on Thursday (conferences) but we will all be here. Come to school and work all day long on catching up. Ask the teachers if there is some stuff you can do for extra credit. Teachers love it when a student shows ambition and is really trying. Then I asked about his vehicle. He said it was a Ford and tada, guess what? My husband works at a Ford dealership. I called him, explained what was going on and put the student on the phone. Long story short, my husband is getting his parts at cost and will help him fix the vehicle if his dad doesn't know how. At this point the student actually started to look happy. I said "See you need to break each thing down, it's more doable in little bites, get it"? And he laughed. So then we continued with the list. I told him the drama will blow over with the coach. It always does. As for the prom, talk to his date and see if she wouldn't mind doing it a little less expensive. Like go to Applebee's, they have that special where you can get an appetizer, dinner and dessert for 2 for $20. He doesn't have to have a tux, just wear some nice slacks, a shirt and tie. I told him that she said yes because she wants to be with him that night, not so you have to spend your college fund. Next try to explain to your parents that you are totally stressed and just need them to go easy. You understand that they are stressed out too, but you can't handle it all right now, it's just too much. And as for graduation...well that's coming for sure, there is no stopping that, so all you can do is work as hard as you can for 4 weeks...that's it 4 weeks. Not 4 months, not 4 years, 4 weeks and then you are done.
He left my office with his list and a smile. That night my husband said he came and got the parts and seemed like a good kid and was smiling. The next day he was at school bright and early working with teachers on catching up. When I saw him, he just smiled and nodded. At that moment I got this warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart and it felt fantastic.
It showed me that I was supposed to be there right then. Too many things lined up for it to be just a coincidence. I helped someone through the darkness and by doing that I helped myself.
What can you do to help someone?
See! I know what you mean. When you're able to use your pain to help others it just makes life worthwhile, doesn't it? When I see others hurting I try to tell them, look this sucks but you are going to be able to comfort someone else someday, and that is how we pay it all forward.
ReplyDeleteWould you like to be a guidance counselor? I think you would be really great at that!! :) Do it!!
I think that's great! Sometimes kids need an adult, outside of their parents, to talk to. It's good that you took the iniative and took that step. It always feels good to help someone out, I know. There have been times it has helped me and other times, just leaves me wondering why I can help others, but not myself. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThat is seriously amazing! You treated him with respect, took his concerns seriously, and gave him realistic options, which I'm sure have been lacking (hence the hopelessness). Nice work!
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